Oh, the horror! Hot garbage has taken over the web. Carousel Carol, Type-Ahead Tommy, Shallow Dom, Wastin' JSON...the gang's all here. We'll turn the "bad accessibility" dial up to 11 in order to feel the pain that users with disabilities experience on a regular basis. Some of the patterns in this talk will be directly inspired from real life instances–because we can't even make this stuff up. By facing our miserable fears and burning everything to the ground, we'll be reborn and better equipped to create truly successful user interfaces.